entries
Tuesday, February 10, 2009- Hmm hey, its midnight right now. Well, sort of..
My ankle is still injured right now. Thats the first information.
And, I discovered something about myself. I somehow discovered why sometimes, I felt disgusted when I look at a bunch of friends being so nice to each other. One short reason why is that, I somehow feel that it will only be temporary, and quite a number of people these days aren't so kind after all. I find that behind a character of a person, there lies another one who is there to talk bad about you. Happened to me at the past and it happened a lot of times.
The second reason why is probably a longer one. I have to admit that sometimes I feel happy for these people, I get jealous of them. Hah, like seriously. Because, I remember that when I was much younger, back in the past, my good friends tend to throw their tantrums at me for no reason, pretend to be good friends but used me and a lot more. How can it be fair for me not to see the others and wish I am at their place too? It is seriously a good time to know once in a while where people take your words seriously, and when they finally listen to your thoughts. Still, there are people who claimed that they do, but they do not. You need
to have a sense of belonging somewhere, and sometimes, I do have, sometimes I don't.
And yes, there are people who claimed that they do understand, but they don't. My suggestion is that these people shouldn't bug me around. It just gets worse. Its like, making it worse for me. Much worse.
And a something that I really hate a lot is being ignored. Yes, ignored. I know, people get sick of my voice. People get sick at the sight of me. But hey, I want to put in my effort to make your day. I have questions to ask sometimes. I have thinks to say. I need people to at least listen so that I do not feel like a socially depressed moron. But thanks, shit happens and people just make this shit. Thanks. If I am simply ignored, then it would be better if I talk to the wall. At least talking to the wall does not give me false hope that an ear or two will finally listen to me. And yes, I have lived my life being a loner before and I am not afraid to be one. So don't think that I am not used being a one-man team, because I grow up learning how to survive on my own. But looking at other people, they really enjoy having this sense of belonging. Perhaps its not my loss, but I might not have the rights or privilege to experience this nearly every day of my life. That is really how I feel, and why I think I am jealous. It might sound sad, but this is how I am..
Hah, but feelings aside, I seriously need sleep. Good bye readers.
*You look so sad, you look blue. I can slap your face hard enough to turn it red.*
`updated on- 12:13 AM
