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Sunday, November 9, 2008- Urgh. Okay lets see.. Currently noone at home now. Wana know something? My neck has been hurting badly for a week now. At first, I thought it was just a result from lack of rest. Nah, I was wrong. I still don't know what caused it though (lol) but it kinda hurt, and cracking it makes it worse, MUCH worse.
- Skills training camp 2008
- Health check up, as usual - every 3 months, and started after I'm discharged from hospital after getting cured from cancer.
- My studies, its a hard catching up..
- And since its hard checking up, I have to make more schedules to meet up with teachers for 1-to-1 sessions.
- Secondary 3 NCOs Ssgt test scheduling
- Sec 1 Lcp test? - maybe..
- Personal problems, of course
- My departments in Freshmen Orientation - I am very disappointed at myself. Can't keep up with the pace.. I seriously screwed myself up, and everyone.
- HRC at Pulau Ubin - Its a good thing for me to help and I have to meet the minimum requirements to help over there, but don't I need to help myself already?
- YTSS NPCC!! - Omg, I really took an oath to myself to save that unit. I can't just not do it right? Its my responsibility and thats what I want to do of course.
I still wonder how the hell I can juggle up with so many things right now. And now, I have to do it with a super pain on my neck. Please note: If I am quiet about it, I am just trying to ignore it, no use complaining right? But I'm doing it on my blog FOR YOUR INFORMATION and isn't this the place where I can freely complain around?
So, yeah, tried feeling my neck with my fingers, you know, the part where I feel the pain. It felt damn weird ah but I think its just me. Hmm, and I still wonder how I can still do chin ups yesterday during physical training in YTSS. Oh yea, I know why.. I don't freakin strain my neck. How slow can I get. Arguing to myself in this post. ZzzZzzZz.
Hmm.. I still have a problem here. Whenever I feel angry (outside NP of course), or sad, or depressed or have a deep frustration, I am still not able to express myself well. I don't know why. Haiyo. Its just my fault to live in a childhood where I hardly have a chance to say what I really wish I want to say.
Okay, an example of when I can't express my anger, or maybe a feeling of sadness is when theres a person who climbed over my head maybe I was too kind. Say hi to the person also cannot seh. Kena shoo. Lol, okay not lol, fuck seh. I don't know whats up with me, but I know its my fault. I should'nt be too kind or nice, or "act cheerful" in front of people. Completely my fault.
Grr.
Now.. I'm gonna list my official commitments and this that are bothering me in my head:
Wooo! Now with all those listed, I got three words. IM SOOOO DEAD, fuck.
Omg, sorry, make that four words.
Aiyo, i better go. Bye.
*I was accused, slandered, personally insulted, looked down on, had my kindness taken advantage of, blind-sided, turned down, disrespected, forgotten and just much more and I am right here keeping my patience. Now listen, if you are the unlucky one who I blow my top to, please.. do not put the blame on me for it was the others' fault and your fault and you might also want to blame it on your luck for a memorable part of your life will be presented to you by yours truly, Rahimi.*
`updated on- 8:23 PM
