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Sunday, August 31, 2008- its been days since i blog huh?
Okay.. lets talk about mixed martial arts. Its very fun to do intensive exercise, okay, this is the reason why I was nicknamed "The Demon" but actually I am "The Angel" (duhh).
And trust me, its fun to wrestle around. Lol. Zhi Liang was my partner during that session and we agreed to push each other.
And remembered when I said that I exercise to release my frustrations? It applies to this.. i guess..
Well.. today, i went around to find a job. Reason why was to help my parents so that all of us will have enough money. And if theres a little bit of extra money that i earned, i can just reward myself. Family is priority.. and i have good intentions..
Went home, felt a lil proud that effort was put in to find a job. And what can go wrong? Well, totally. Something went wrong. Mum just shouted at me (translated) " And Rahimi! You are just another problem! Tell me why you go home so late??! Do you know that you have been troubling me so much?! Both of you (my sis and I) only think about yourselves!"
And wow.. if it applies to my sis.. i have to agree.. at times..
But I was just praising myself for a moment and wild accusations and all from my mum, like as though I was lying to her and I want to trouble her all my life when i simply want to do the direct opposite. Cool huh?
And you know something, i told her for quite some times that I am going somewhere to find a freakin' job.
In the end.. i tried to cooldown.. but was only half okay..
And I just apologised to my mum. I dont want to be called and egoistic bastard, like how my family members are acting like. Im not saying you are, but why am I always refered to like Im one by you when I ALWAYS give in. Hmm, isnt it true that one of the possible reasons why I had cancer is because I had too many grudges? And you just made it worse from me to prevent sicknesses again..
And you know what? I look at dad every night, and you know how embarrassed I got everytime, for not telling him about all the lies that you family members made and have hidden from him?
How sick and tired can I get? Bullshits after bullshits you guys just throw to me each time. And let me remind you. I joined Biomedical Science, suffer through it, worked harder than I had through it, and live with it because egos in the family asked me to. I solved the problem simply by making myself like it. But Im still unhappy with you controlling my life, and fucking it up.
PS: I still love this family, I want to solve the problems. It won't be a problem, can you just respect me as a future breadwinner of the family?
*Hmm.. another one.."
`updated on- 9:46 PM
