entriesSunday, August 1, 2010
- "This boy keeps believing in what he is doing even if everyone else is laughing at him. And he continues to believe and work for it no matter what other people said."
- Mrs Lillian Mani, my primary 6 form teacher
Totally remembered these words from her that she mentioned a few years ago.
Totally agreed on how much of a stubborn ass I was, I am and I ever will be!
I totally recalled myself being laughed at by people whenever I shared my dreams. From young, 'til now.
I recalled the times when people said that I'm an idiot, conceited or just out of my mind.
Its like blinking my eyes; it happens everytime.
I am still firm to my decision that I should never back out, and stop believing in what I'm fighting for right now.
Hell yeah, never in my life am I going to stop believing in myself.
I've decided that it is me who will decide what I will be and should be doing, not the people who give me a wet blanket.
I'm never going to back down, never in my life.
Call me crazy, but I'm going to persevere. I'm going to fight 'til the end.
And you know what? I totally believe that a crazy man and a genius are completely the same. The only difference is that a genius is one who is successful, a crazy man is not.
Currently, I am a crazy man. But you will see what I can do.
Theres no stopping me until my success.
This is only the beginning. Even more is to come.
`updated on- 11:42 PMSunday, July 18, 2010
- I told myself that this year will be totally different chapter of my life. The chapter will be titled as "The year of my life's war". I was right. But I wasn't right because I have no choice but to. It is my decision to make this year that way.
Where can I go if I have not decided to do so?
Will I be able to face my problems right in the eye?
Will I be able to change my life for the better? Will I be able to bring the best out of myself? And will I be able to finally be at my best again?
I'll answer "No" to all the questions without fail if I did not decide to finally have all my problems solved, and to decide not to "declare war" to all the problems that I have right now.
Currently, I might not be at the best of health. I do not have the time to even watch the television. But what I can tell is that at least I am out of my comfort zone, trying to make a change in my life. Hell yeah baby, at least I took my first step forward to get this over with.
But yeah, if you're close to me, you would have realised that a lot in my life has fallen apart, but slowly, something better is building up. I just wish for the best to happen. I have done, and I am doing my best. All I have to do now is pray hard, and wait for the best outcome to happen.
`updated on- 10:35 PMSunday, July 4, 2010
- I've hurt my backbone. And whenever I trip on things, it will hurt like mad.
And yes, this started to happen since NAPFA test.
For more than one month, I've hurt my back. My family members thought that it was just nothing, just plain muscleaches.. But yeah, after one month of enduring the pain, I'm seeking treatment.
I've seen myself really sacrificing a lot for this dream that I want to achieve. Hell yeah. I'm not going to give up. Never am I gonna do that. I'm going all out, even if it takes my life (Hopefully it does not have to take my life though...).
Well, looking at myself, I'm the kind of person who has been an advisor, supporter, motivator and a friend to many. I've been the kind of person "who will always be there". But when I look around myself, and I can only see some people looking up to me, but there was noone to sit down with me, and truly listen about my life. Well, I've never had one, a person who can actually sit down with me, and hey, just give me a heart-to-heart talk.
And yeah.. Its so normal to me that I will not feel comfortable if someone is to do so with me although I know that I might need one.
But still, its okay. All I need to feel now is love. Love from my parents. Love from my friends. Basically, just..Love. That will be a great feeling to have right now.
I'm still moving forward even without these. I know that I'm still on a pursuit for happiness. One that will not only give happiness to me, but also my parents. One that will also bring joy to others. And I'll continue fighting even if takes everything out of me, because I know that it will be worth it.
`updated on- 12:32 AMWednesday, June 30, 2010
- I want to start my post, telling everyone that I have been in the wrong course for 2 years.
Well, think about it. Imagine yourself not liking your course at the first place, and you're forced by everyone around you to be in that course or you will face the consequences. And just add up the fact that you've been putting a lot of effort just to do well in it, but end up with very below average grade. And just add the fact that you have to lie to yourself for another 1 and a half year after lying to yourself for a couple of years already. And add the fact that you know that people are badmouthing you, though you did nothing to them.
Yeah, you know what I mean right? The reason why I was forced to enter the course is because it will provide me an average, secure and stable job in the mere future. And I will be getting a better pay if I were to further my studies. Awesome huh? No.
Think about it: Just look at my grades. Yes, its true that I will be given a secure and stable job, but I do not want an average pay, added to the fact that I do not want to be in the science industry. I approached a friend of mine who graduated with a Diploma certificate in the Biomedical field. Guess what? He's 26, and he's working with shipping goods to the country.
Damn, that kind of job? Kiss my ass, I'm not gonna be an average income earner, in what I do not enjoy doing.
So what's my plan? Since I would lose everything in the future if this carries on, then I would have nothing left. If I have nothing left, then I would have nothing to lose.
I want to do something more sensible. I've collected enough money to get in another course. One that I know I will do well in. One that I would enjoy without forcing myself. One that I would join not just because it will make my family happy, but will also make myself happy.
And yeah, theres also another thing to add here. The month of July will most probably me the month (if God permits, too), that my life will change. It'll be the start of me proving something to my family that I do not have to live being in the medical field just because its a stable job. Their expectations of me (or even life itself) will change to a new level. And hopefully, if this success continues, I'll be able to lead the life that I want. A life that I choose to live.
`updated on- 9:38 AMFriday, June 18, 2010
- Its been a hard fought battle to me. And right now, I'm finally at my strongest. Somehow, I kinda feel numb whenever I work. Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? I'm just feeling numb now, because I know I'm tired, I know I am giving it all, but I'm doing it all the time that it felt so..normal. I found out that all this hard work, and endless effort is like a part of me.
The will of mine to give my parents the life that they want, and to be a contributor to changing people's life have always been the goals I want to achieve. I know that I'm not having all the fun that everyone is having now, but I do believe that it'll all be worth it. It will all be over if not soon, then a little later, if God willing (:
All I know now is that I believe in karma, and I hope that good things will happen to me too.
And yep, I've been good at loving my family, doing what seemed as not likable to others when I
know its because I care, and many countless stuffs that I know I've done which required a lot of sacrifice, just because I love and I care.
Personally, I hope that they will be cared about. And I hope that I will be loved back too (:
That'll be awesome, huh?
And yeah, I'm still on the road, to what I am seeing as a road to my success. A road to success in life, afterlife, work life, love life.. well.. LIFE.
And for those who don't know what I am up to now, you can ask me personally. Add me on facebook or msn if you have not, you can send me via email or personal message via facebook.
`updated on- 12:28 AMMonday, June 7, 2010
- Currently at the worst state of my mind right now. I can't think straight.
My self-esteem, crushed. Just like that. Everything just went wrong from three days ago, til now. It just came to me like a smack to the face.
Has hope ran out for me? Feels so. I'm feeling like.. how I felt when I was down. But its the worst ever.
I can't feel anyone giving me a hand to get me out of this zone. Wait.. the only person who was there to get me out of such situation was...Myself.
I just want to be left alone now. For myself to recover. I'm at my worst right now. I want to go to... the highest storey of a tall building, and just be there alone. I want to go there now.
`updated on- 11:39 AMWednesday, April 28, 2010
- 25 May marks my NAPFA test. I've been training my leg in the gym since ever, so somehow, I've been training myself for standing broadjump too..
Speaking of NAPFA test, let's list down all 6 stations for it:
1) Standing broadjump
2) Sit and reach
3) 10 x 4 metre shuttle run
5) Chin-ups (Or Pull-ups)
6) 2.4 kilometre run/jog/walk/crawl/ahh! you knoww!!
Standing broadjump is one of the stations that I'm really worry about. I've been training my leg like mad, but I'm not good enough to secure an A. Okay, actually I can secure an A. I can jump as far as 252 cm, just 1 cm above the minimum needed for an A. But still, its only 1 cm. I have to be able to confirm that I can get an A
Sit and Reach
I've been training for Sit and Reach ever since I learnt the Roundhouse Kick. I must make sure that my hamstring is flexible to secure an A, which is 51cm and above. Lets see what I can do then (:
4 x 10 m Shuttle Run
Another station I'm concerned about. I've trained a lot on my running technique. My striding has improved. I'm not sure if I can get an A for this ( below 10.2 seconds), I hope I can though. But yeah, shuttle run is not about speed. Its about agility. Dang, gotta check if I'm agile enough then..
2 words. No sweat. :P
I've been training my core and abdominals since ever. I've been doing torturous abdominal exercises which are much worse than dumb sit ups. To get A, I have to be able to do more than 42 sit ups. No problem, unless I cramp my legs at that time..
It is easy to secure an A for Chin-ups (more than 10 in 30 seconds). However, I want to beat the record in my poly (which is 22 Chin ups in 30 seconds). My target would be 30 chin ups in 30 seconds. However, I'm only able to do 15 Chin-ups in 30 seconds. Gotta work hard. Gotta be crazy (:
2.4 km Run
I have to finish 2.4km in 10 minutes in order to secure an A. I was jogging around Bedok Resevoir at a distance of 4.2 km. I reached the 2.4km mark in 9.30 seconds. I wasn't too happy with it, coz I was almost a minute slower than that. Still, I just wana get 2.4km run over with.
But hey, 2.4km run really motivated me to train, and do more cardio exercises. It clearly means that I can improve the way my abdominals will look :D
Win-win situation. lol
Haha. So yeah. I'm really tired now. Headache is getting on my nerves. I'll log out now. Til then.
`updated on- 9:32 PM